September 25th, 2009:
It's been difficult to blog over the past few days. I am living at Maitri, and my computer still lives in my apartment. This will resolve in the next few days when I move into my assigned room at Maitri. Currently, I'm in a temporary room. When I move my computer and reduced collection of art, clothes, etc. into Room #5 at Maitri, then all of my daily effects will be in one place. An interesting feature of Room # 5: it faces an inner courtyard with a garden. My current room faces the busy corner of Church and Duboce streets which is a major public transportation hub. I have been enjoying the urban noise and commuter energy that surges up to my current room. However, I can feel my body wanting to move toward a quiet zone. That's why my new room has such an attraction for me. I can feel myself and my new room bonding even before I move in.
As I work with Gaetano to set up a schedule for people to pick up my gifts to them, the task and the managing of all the arrivals both excites me and exhausts me. I spend time imagining how good it will feel when there are no more pickups of gifts. I will be in a room facing the garden. My body can rest on the bed and see out into the plants and flowers. I am envisoning staring into windows that give into a mottled with leafy shade, serene, internal world. Never in my life have I felt such a turn inward. I hunger for it. And, fortunately, it's heading my way.
As the gifts start to move out of the apartment, it's interesting to watch myself be relieved and grateful to see them go. Also, when working with my friends Jeremy and Gaetano this morning as we took pictures off the wall and bubble wrapped them, I found myself becoming curt and tongue tied. I tried to remember the name of the covering on my bed (answer: bedspread), but I couldn't get to that vocabulary word. "Covering on the bed," I struggled. Both guys were wonderfully patient. I realized that I was winging it for wrapping, planning, making decisions. And it all resolved beautifully. Everything was wrapped safely, loaded into my friend Kathy's truck and sent up to Portland, Oregon for delivery. The first day of major divesting passed without problems. A few more of these days and the apartment will be cleared. Gratitude. Anticipation. Relief. Focus.