Thursday, May 28, 2009

May 28th, 2009: It’s been a good week with not much discomfort. I’ve started logging every time I take morphine sulfate for breakthrough pain, and so far this week, I’ve only had one pill in the middle of Monday night. I’ve promised myself not to be stoic about pain; if I need medication, I’ll take it.

Tomorrow is my meeting with Dr. Jahan and I am both excited and calm. Really, there’s nothing to do other than show up. I’ve sent him questions in advance; he’s sent me some replies in advance. What remains is to read the scans, evaluate the growth—or not—of the tumors and discuss what happens next.

This is a big deal weekend for me with entertainment and dining. I have tickets for the Friday night and Sunday matinee performances of Mark Morris Dance Group’s L’Allegro, Il Penseroso ed Il Moderato. Poems by Milton, oratorio by Handel and choreography by Mark Morris. Back in the early 90’s, my friend Patrick Glennon saw this piece and said that it was the best dance he’d ever seen. At the time, I thought he was being really excessive. However, I remembered his enthusiasm so when it returned in the late 90’s I got a ticket. I was totally unprepared for the power and beauty of the dance, and I like the work so much that I have traveled to see it. Ann and I have gone to Chicago and Seattle for performances as well as seeing it as often as possible at Zellerbach in Berkeley. And after the Friday night performance, a late dinner at the Café at Chez Panisse—yummmmmmmm.

My friend Laura is visiting from Chicago to do some work at Stanford library and it will be great to catch up with her. We met not that long ago at the Optimum Health Institute. I'm going to dinner on Saturday night with people I worked with at the HIV Planning Council. Then, the matinee performance of L’Allegro on Sunday with dinner afterward at Sea Salt with my friend Adrienne. Since Adrienne lives most of the time in Mendocino, I don’t get to see her nearly often enough. Dance, food, visiting and so to bed.

Weaving through all of this entertainment will be the results of the scans. I’ll post what Dr. Jahan has to say as soon as I’m able to so that all of you will have a better idea of where my health is headed and the probable treatments. I am hoping to have a better sense of how treatments (or lack of them) will block my timing for the next few months. I’ve put most plans on hold other than a trip to Portland in early July. Until I have a better handle on my health, I have resisted booking a trip to China and other events that are best planned for sooner rather than later. When I am in discomfort, I worry about loosing my ability to walk comfortably or walk at all. If I go to China, it has to be while I’m still able to walk.

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