November 4th, 2008: My new chest port was installed easily this morning, however there was no available bed for me to stay in the hospital for a five day chemo course. As I was about to be sedated, the nurse asked, “So, who is driving you home?” “Uhhh,” the taxi driver.” I replied. “Oh, no, no, no. We can’t let a sedated person leave the hospital unattended. You’ll have to call a friend to take you home.” Sigh. I wish they had told me this ahead of time. But, my hero Gaetano answered the phone and cheerfully agreed to pick me up. Thank you, Gaetano. Now, I’m back in the comfort of my apartment on a bright day. Sunlight bounces off the big pieces of glass in the front window, and the grass in the park across the street shines with a juicy green rejuvenated by the weekend rains. My home heals me.

To date, I haven’t done anything specific to organize my support group for when I come out of the hospital. I’m not sure what I’ll need at this point, so how to schedule someone when the dates and tasks are still unclear? Please, stay tuned. There will be ways to help, even if it means visiting over a cup of tea which is what happened after the hip replacement. Hey, nothing wrong with visiting over a cup of tea with any of you.

This blog started out as a way to automate information delivery to many people. The content was matter-of-fact medical and informational. “I visited doctor X on this day and the outcome Y.” However, my visualizations have changed this content because they reach way into my psyche. I’m glad for the wider and deeper access to myself, and it’s a surprise and an honor to share it with all of you. I’ve never had this way of expressing myself before. All my life I’ve had far-out experiences. Sometimes I talk about them and just as often they don’t come up in conversation. Now, because of so many issues that constellate around the questions—What is this cancer? How will I heal?—there’s this opportunity to be more holistic in my approach. I’m reminded of talking with Sista Monica Parker back on September 30th, when she thought about her own successful struggle with cancer and concluded, “It was a blessing.”